Language is Our Friend

I'm that annoying person who sends grammatically correct text messages.

I say this with great love, but with a great deal of annoyance. What the heck happened to English grammar and punctuation? I know many people who have smart, interesting, WISE things to say - however, their messages are garbled by bad spelling, non-existent punctuation and capitalization, and extremely limited sentence structure. What happened to the written English language?

I have friends who are teachers, and I don't blame them for a minute. I blame so many for this, but I'll get popped for being "culturally insensitive" if I name names. Our English language can be so poetic, and I personally hate to hear ugly language. "Where you at?" can make my good day, well, bad.

I know that, for myself, I can't take seriously posts from people who can't communicate well. I give bonus points for people who can express themselves eloquently (Dominique Browning - "http://www.slowlovelife.com/." Does that make me an elitist? If so, well, then, "Hell, yeah!"

I choose to live in a literate world. I choose beauty, elegance, literature, poetry and art. I will not apologize. I can see those "gems" in writings that are, shall we say, less than eloquent, but I have to try harder to see them, and give the benefit of the doubt. That takes extra effort. Most people won't put out that effort, and will, no doubt, lose the wisdom of a "less than literate" effort.

That is one of the reasons that I offer services as an editor - blog, web, speech, etc. Messages are best delivered in language that is music to the ear. Please, please, please let me help you.

Namaste!

Be a Leader

This is so amazing and true. As I complained in my last post, there are "leaders" who are not true. This type of leadership is beyond true, and I celebrate it!

What Life Coaching Is and What It Shouldn't Be

This has been on my mind alot lately.

I have a reputation for not suffering foolishness gladly, if at all. I am beyond nauseated at the proliferation of self-help seminars, webinars, workshops, etc. that promise to use some secret that allows us to attract good luck just by wishing for it (and you know what I'm talking about). Yes, I believe that our own positive, loving energy and that of others can manifest change in our lives. I believe that good works are their own reward. And I believe that there's a sucker born every minute and some charlatan ready to take her money.

A good life coaching relationship benefits both the coach and the coached, through the sharing of experience and mutual respect. A life coach is supposed to lead you to insight - not tell you what to do. Nor is a coach ever to tell you that what you're doing is all wrong.

We Life Coaches are, at best, intuitives with a love of and interest in our fellow human beings, taking fulfillment from guiding fellow travelers through our hard-won wisdom. At worst, we are profiteers who offer the promise of joy, wealth, perfect love, etc. with little regard for the fallout after the first flush of success fades. As I said above, life coaching is a relationship; not an evening or a weekend spent in the glow of a charismatic leader with promises to sell. That workshop may be really fun, but don't expect it to change your life.

So ends my rant. Goddess grant me patience, wisdom and clarity to see the kernels of truth through the smoke and mirrors; and to graciously keep my mouth shut when someone mentions the law of attraction...

Peace.

Too Much Stuff

I had an epiphany last night.  I discovered that I was hemmed in by too much stuff.  It's not even nice stuff.  It's just stuff I've collected over the years.  So, I had this epiphany last night that I had to get rid of all this stuff because it was holding me back from thinking and doing other real stuff, because I worry about cleaning, storing, taking care of - all this stuff.

I've mentioned Bobby, who inherited me from Mr. Burns.  He and I had had a conversation about all the stuff in my garage.  He makes money from salvage, as well as from yard and handyman work, and he saw value in my stuff.

So, after I'd had my epiphany last night, who shows up at my door this morning?  Bobby!!!  Perfect timing!  He cleaned out everything from my garage except my garden tools, washer and dryer, and cat carriers.  It looks absolutely amazing.  I might even put my car in it.

Lesson learned?  I had a real, live cosmic connection with the universe about how my stuff was holding me back, and the universe had my back.  I got rid of stuff that was useless to me, but valuable to Bobby.  Win. Win.

I've started on all the stuff I have in the house, but that's for another post...

Peace.

A Shadow Moment

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm chatty.  I like people, I'm curious about them, and I love to visit, as we say in the South.  I am very blessed in that I make friends easily.  I'm a really good listener.  And, if you want to talk about Oak Cliff, you better pack a lunch because we may be there all day.  I am an Oak Cliff Cheerleader and can talk Oak Cliff (especially restaurant!) gossip all day.

Today at work, probably every third person who came in, I knew.  Some were current friends, some were very new.  It was really fun for me.  I "visited" so much that I came home exhausted.

All sweetness and light, right?  All love and butterflies and ice cream. A perfect day.

So why, when 2 uniformed fire inspection officers entered the shop to inspect our fire extinguishers, did I lose my cool?  Not just lose my cool, but become rude and somewhat confrontational.  Irrational.  Verging on batshit crazy.

After I had embarrassed myself acting like a crazy woman, I needed to deal with it and figure out why I had been so rude to men who were just doing a benign job.  It wasn't too difficult to figure out.  I have had, all my life, a Problem With Authority.  Just regular hippie stuff - The Man Is Bad.

But, the real thing is that I have had a Big, Bad problem with the police.  Just about as bad as bad can get.  Really. Bad.  And, seeing men in Uniform, with my attitude about Authority and Police; well, the outcome wasn't pretty.

That's how "shadow," as Jung called it, can bite you.  Being mean to two perfectly innocent guys just because their appearance activated Fear in my psyche.  It was hidden, until it came out unexpectedly, viscerally, and completely inappropriately.  Shadow mustn't - absolutely MUSTN'T - be pushed back and overridden.  Shadow must be embraced and allowed to see the light - else it comes out in, let's say it together, "unexpected, visceral, and completely inappropriate ways."     You can hurt people's feelings that way, and embarrass yourself.

I need to find a way to make friends with The Uniform.  I'm not sure how I can do that, and it frightens me, but I have to find a way.  Else, my fear/anger will attract bad and negative energy.  That's the way this thing works, I believe.  And it's all in my head.  If you have any ideas for me in how to deal with this, I'd be much obliged.

Peace.

I Hurt You, You Hurt Me

Every day, we interact with friends and strangers.  Over time, friends may become strangers, and strangers friends.

What creates connections between people?  Compatible interests can connect individuals and, through grace and luck, make them friends. Or, cosmic energies can connect us - perhaps we feel instantaneously connected ; did we meet them in a past life?

In these created connections, we have expectations.  In fast friendships, we can feel that the other will know unconsciously how we feel, and will act toward us accordingly.  This can especially be prevalent in perceived "cosmic" connections: we come together in a "big bang," sharing intimate friendship without having any past.

So, feeling that we know each other intimately, feeling "in love" with the new friend, we begin sharing.  And, we expect to be understood and loved unconditionally.

So, what happens when the reality of human interaction interjects?  Love is not so easy. If we are confident in ourselves, and savvy of human intercourse, we choose, or not, to  navigate the new pathway.

But the truth of any human interaction is this: there will be pain.  We can choose to accept pain as part of  our humanity, and embrace it as such.  Or, we can choose not to give it its due, and deride it as not worthy of our "enlightened" state.  Embrace it and release it - acknowledge its power and honor it for its true power of enlightenment.  Or, deride and ignore, and continue to feel its sting.

Pain is inherent in humanity.  So is joy.  They are the opposite sides of the same coin - the coin of our life.  Both must be embraced; we, the human family, are one and the sharing makes the oneness easier to see. Blessed be.

Mr. Burns and Bobby

No, I'm not talking about Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.  If you've known me since I've bought my house, you will be familiar with Mr. Burns.  Until he retired recently, he took care of my yard, and of me.  I affectionately referred to him as "my fairy godfather."

He has taken care of my yard since before it was my yard.  Happily, I inherited him from the previous owner.  He is a WWII vet, a strong Christian and a Republican.  And he has cared for me, entertained me, and taught me for the 6 years I've been here.  We've never talked politics nor religion, on which we would never agree, but that has never, ever mattered.  We are both human beings, and believe in friendliness and neighborliness.

My very favorite Mr. Burns story is this:  He used to go to a local Tom Thumb on Saturdays and had a friend who would fix him up with all the "day-old" bakery goods.  He, in turn, took them to his friends (one of whom I was so lucky to be), then to a senior center.  One Saturday, on which I had promised to bake a cake, hadn't gotten to, and was in DEEP TROUBLE, he showed up at my back door in the nick of time.  Do you know what he said when I opened the door?  He said," Do you want chocolate or carrot cake?"  Like he'd known that I was cake-less and in need of one ASAP.  That's why I call him my fairy godfather.

He always showed up when he thought my yard looked overgrown.  He knew I'd pay him when I could (and I did).  Now, after 2 knee surgeries, he's retired.  And so, now there's Bobby.

Bobby is Mr. Burn's 2-doors-down neighbor.  He's a younger man, and it's obvious he's inherited me.  He fixed my water leak when it sprung in my garage.  He cleaned my chimney - finding the dessicated dead squirrel, tennis ball, prayer book, and pencil.  He has, as of today, mowed and cleaned up my lawn twice without payment.

I saw him this morning and said, "Bobby, thanks so much for taking care of me.  And I will pay you when I can."  He said, "I know," and that was that.

I feel like I keep harping on this "gratitude" thing, but it's this constant in my life - that things keep happening for which I am grateful.  I am so very blessed.

If you're reading this, please comment.  I need the encouragement to continue to write and share.  And, if you need a good yard/handy man, let me know.  Bobby can travel.

Blessings.