Too Much Stuff

I had an epiphany last night.  I discovered that I was hemmed in by too much stuff.  It's not even nice stuff.  It's just stuff I've collected over the years.  So, I had this epiphany last night that I had to get rid of all this stuff because it was holding me back from thinking and doing other real stuff, because I worry about cleaning, storing, taking care of - all this stuff.

I've mentioned Bobby, who inherited me from Mr. Burns.  He and I had had a conversation about all the stuff in my garage.  He makes money from salvage, as well as from yard and handyman work, and he saw value in my stuff.

So, after I'd had my epiphany last night, who shows up at my door this morning?  Bobby!!!  Perfect timing!  He cleaned out everything from my garage except my garden tools, washer and dryer, and cat carriers.  It looks absolutely amazing.  I might even put my car in it.

Lesson learned?  I had a real, live cosmic connection with the universe about how my stuff was holding me back, and the universe had my back.  I got rid of stuff that was useless to me, but valuable to Bobby.  Win. Win.

I've started on all the stuff I have in the house, but that's for another post...

Peace.

A Shadow Moment

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm chatty.  I like people, I'm curious about them, and I love to visit, as we say in the South.  I am very blessed in that I make friends easily.  I'm a really good listener.  And, if you want to talk about Oak Cliff, you better pack a lunch because we may be there all day.  I am an Oak Cliff Cheerleader and can talk Oak Cliff (especially restaurant!) gossip all day.

Today at work, probably every third person who came in, I knew.  Some were current friends, some were very new.  It was really fun for me.  I "visited" so much that I came home exhausted.

All sweetness and light, right?  All love and butterflies and ice cream. A perfect day.

So why, when 2 uniformed fire inspection officers entered the shop to inspect our fire extinguishers, did I lose my cool?  Not just lose my cool, but become rude and somewhat confrontational.  Irrational.  Verging on batshit crazy.

After I had embarrassed myself acting like a crazy woman, I needed to deal with it and figure out why I had been so rude to men who were just doing a benign job.  It wasn't too difficult to figure out.  I have had, all my life, a Problem With Authority.  Just regular hippie stuff - The Man Is Bad.

But, the real thing is that I have had a Big, Bad problem with the police.  Just about as bad as bad can get.  Really. Bad.  And, seeing men in Uniform, with my attitude about Authority and Police; well, the outcome wasn't pretty.

That's how "shadow," as Jung called it, can bite you.  Being mean to two perfectly innocent guys just because their appearance activated Fear in my psyche.  It was hidden, until it came out unexpectedly, viscerally, and completely inappropriately.  Shadow mustn't - absolutely MUSTN'T - be pushed back and overridden.  Shadow must be embraced and allowed to see the light - else it comes out in, let's say it together, "unexpected, visceral, and completely inappropriate ways."     You can hurt people's feelings that way, and embarrass yourself.

I need to find a way to make friends with The Uniform.  I'm not sure how I can do that, and it frightens me, but I have to find a way.  Else, my fear/anger will attract bad and negative energy.  That's the way this thing works, I believe.  And it's all in my head.  If you have any ideas for me in how to deal with this, I'd be much obliged.

Peace.

I Hurt You, You Hurt Me

Every day, we interact with friends and strangers.  Over time, friends may become strangers, and strangers friends.

What creates connections between people?  Compatible interests can connect individuals and, through grace and luck, make them friends. Or, cosmic energies can connect us - perhaps we feel instantaneously connected ; did we meet them in a past life?

In these created connections, we have expectations.  In fast friendships, we can feel that the other will know unconsciously how we feel, and will act toward us accordingly.  This can especially be prevalent in perceived "cosmic" connections: we come together in a "big bang," sharing intimate friendship without having any past.

So, feeling that we know each other intimately, feeling "in love" with the new friend, we begin sharing.  And, we expect to be understood and loved unconditionally.

So, what happens when the reality of human interaction interjects?  Love is not so easy. If we are confident in ourselves, and savvy of human intercourse, we choose, or not, to  navigate the new pathway.

But the truth of any human interaction is this: there will be pain.  We can choose to accept pain as part of  our humanity, and embrace it as such.  Or, we can choose not to give it its due, and deride it as not worthy of our "enlightened" state.  Embrace it and release it - acknowledge its power and honor it for its true power of enlightenment.  Or, deride and ignore, and continue to feel its sting.

Pain is inherent in humanity.  So is joy.  They are the opposite sides of the same coin - the coin of our life.  Both must be embraced; we, the human family, are one and the sharing makes the oneness easier to see. Blessed be.