I Like Dreaming

So, last night I dreamed that all I wanted was to take a nice long bath.  I was in a space that offered luxurious bathing facilities.  However, there were windows and doors open to every which way, and observers by the hundreds.  I was supremely annoyed, and yelled at everyone who crossed my path.  Such luxurious bathing environment was at my fingertips! - yet I was constantly oppressed by: someone stealing money out of my purse; a Saran Wrap-type covering over my bath; a whole cast of hotel characters wishing to make my stay satisfactory; various family members featured in tableaux in view of my bathing chamber.  I understand that I am living a double life - my actual physical life is a shambles, and is best to be ignored.  My dream life, however, takes the brunt of the action, and is so vivid that I feel that it is indeed, my second life.

'The Law of Distraction / May/June MuseLetter'

I share this with you because Robyn made me laugh uproariously at her "Do's and Don'ts" when someone suffers misfortune. Thanks Robyn!

'The Law of Distraction / May/June MuseLetter'

Control Freak

I've not been myself lately.  Ever feel that you're stuck somewhere you never intended, and can't find the exit?  That's been me lately.

So, I do what we do, and look for wisdom in books.  I'm done with the whole "do what you love and the money will follow" trip and no longer feel that my destiny lies within finding the perfect job.  I want a more fulfilling LIFE, and a job in Corporate America isn't going to accomplish that.  I find myself looking for "truth" - whatever that is, and try to separate the wheat from the chaff.

I've been reading this great book called "The Divine Matrix" by Gregg Braden.  He posits that quantum physics is the underlying truth of the universe, and he pretty much has me convinced.  I strongly recommend reading him, but this is a blog - not a book review.

So, I'm reading Braden today and he's talking about "mirrors," which he says are reflections of ourselves manifested in our closest relationships.  He says that the things that drive us mad in those relationships are the exact same things that make us personally unhappy and keep us from growing spiritually (and otherwise).

I take his words to heart and think about my personal relationships.  I'm pretty much cool with everyone, I think at first.  Then, I start digging deeper......

I have been compared all my life to a set of standards that never fit me.  The person of whom I speak believes that he/she knows exactly what I should (and shouldn't) do, and I should do what he/she thinks I should.  Lots of shoulds there, I know, and that's a word that causes lots of trouble.

I thought about this a lot today.  And realization kicked in pretty swiftly.  I do exactly the same thing.  Sometimes I voice it, and sometimes I just manifest the "if you want a job done right,..." thing.  I became really conscious of that behavior in myself today, and caught myself many times trying to take control of things that had no business being controlled by me.

So, I'm consciously working on letting go of control.  I never, ever considered myself a control freak, but I find that I exhibit many of the traits.  Just because I think someone should conduct their business, or their life, or their social life a certain way, doesn't make me right and him/her wrong.  I have no right of judgment.  And letting go of that imagined right of control has made me feel a bit freer - and opened me up to change.

A good exercise for me as a coach is that I'm not allowed, through my training, to tell a client what I think he/she should do.  My job is to let the client filter his/her own ideas through me, and figure out what the best thing is.  The greatest gift in that is that I learn through my client's experiences and ideas.  A good coaching relationship is win/win - not "do what I think you should and everything will turn out alright."

Peace.

A Penny and Some Duct Tape

Recently, a very small but very important bit fell off my brake pedal in my car.  That tiny bit caused my brake lights to stay on even when the car was turned off.  Naturally, this ran the battery down, and I had to call AAA for a jump.

The guy who came to help did indeed jump start my car, and listened to my description of what I was experiencing.  He, possessing a mechanical mind and being very proud of it, messed around and fidgeted with my brake pedal, and fixed - at least temporarily - my problem.  He did it with a penny and a piece of duct tape.  He was happy to do it and I was thrilled to have such an easy fix!

He told me to go to my dealership and buy a certain part; he said someone in the parts department could look at it for me and I could buy and install the part myself.  All good.

I go to the dealership.  I am made to understand that, for someone to open my car door and stick their head in, I will be charged for labor.  I see a sign on the dealership window that states that the labor charge is.....  $99/hour.  I'm pretty sure I know what I want and go ahead and buy the part, even though no one at the dealership will give me the time of day except to tell me they can't look at my problem without charging me, and that the part I eventually buy is not returnable.

 Turns out the part I bought isn't necessary.  So there's $7.82 I'll never see again.

Luckily, I still have my penny and duct tape and, though the duct tape is wearing out, and I have to periodically shimmy underneath the dash to adjust the penny, all is fairly well.  That is, if you don't mind having to bend your not-so-young-and-flexible-as-it-used-to-be body into a contortionist pose each time you park your car.

So, yesterday I went to my sister and brother-in-law's house out in the country.  My BIL is Australian and can pretty much fix anything (it seems to be a nationalist tendency).  He looks at my car and agrees that all I need is an itty bitty part.  He can fix it with a nickel and super glue, if that's what I want.  Hell, yeah, that's what I want.  I would rather have someone who gives a damn fix my car like MacGyver than take it to a corporate entity that only tells me what can't be done, instead of what can.


So, one of the lessons I took from this experience is: There's more than one way to accomplish a goal; and it helps to have creativity, goodwill and an open mind.

And duct tape.

All You Need Is...

It's everywhere and nowhere.  It's the most powerful thing on earth.  Everyone is talking about it.

Love.

The love I'm talking about is spiritual love.  It's supposed to be such a simple concept; yet I don't think I really understand it.  Christianity says, "Love your neighbor."  Buddhist love is about compassion and non-attachment.  Most faiths and traditions celebrate a "God is Love" ethos, at least in spirit if not in practice.

Those of us who practice non-traditional (non-Western) spirituality speak often of "unconditional love."  How am I supposed to love unconditionally?  I'm pretty sure I don't love Halliburton, British Petroleum, Glenn Beck, etc.  There are even a few rare individuals whom I actively dislike (each of whom I worked for at one time).  I pretty much like everybody; some better than others.  And I believe that I have loved unconditionally at some moments in my life.

Perhaps I have trouble understanding the concept of universal unconditional love because I've never experienced being loved unconditionally myself.  It's hard to put something out in the world if you don't truly understand what it feels like.  The closest feeling I can relate to is that of acceptance.  I can feel self-acceptance (most of the time), but that's been a hard row to hoe to get there.

Perhaps for me, acceptance can be my version of unconditional love.  I'm afraid that's the best I can do right now.  I don't feel like it's enough, though, and I want the experience of loving unconditionally in a spiritual way.  I want to open myself up to it, but I'm unsure how.  I don't think anyone can teach us how to do that, and I'm distrustful of (many of) those who say they can.

So, what's a girl to do?  For me, that must mean loosening some of my mistrust and skepticism, while still maintaining a fully functional bullshit detector.  The more I read and study, the better able I am to separate the wisdom from the hokum.  I need friends around me who are also spiritually aware, to share and love.  Friendship is love.  Action can be love.  The natural world is love.  And I want it.

Peace

Language is Our Friend

I'm that annoying person who sends grammatically correct text messages.

I say this with great love, but with a great deal of annoyance. What the heck happened to English grammar and punctuation? I know many people who have smart, interesting, WISE things to say - however, their messages are garbled by bad spelling, non-existent punctuation and capitalization, and extremely limited sentence structure. What happened to the written English language?

I have friends who are teachers, and I don't blame them for a minute. I blame so many for this, but I'll get popped for being "culturally insensitive" if I name names. Our English language can be so poetic, and I personally hate to hear ugly language. "Where you at?" can make my good day, well, bad.

I know that, for myself, I can't take seriously posts from people who can't communicate well. I give bonus points for people who can express themselves eloquently (Dominique Browning - "http://www.slowlovelife.com/." Does that make me an elitist? If so, well, then, "Hell, yeah!"

I choose to live in a literate world. I choose beauty, elegance, literature, poetry and art. I will not apologize. I can see those "gems" in writings that are, shall we say, less than eloquent, but I have to try harder to see them, and give the benefit of the doubt. That takes extra effort. Most people won't put out that effort, and will, no doubt, lose the wisdom of a "less than literate" effort.

That is one of the reasons that I offer services as an editor - blog, web, speech, etc. Messages are best delivered in language that is music to the ear. Please, please, please let me help you.

Namaste!

Be a Leader

This is so amazing and true. As I complained in my last post, there are "leaders" who are not true. This type of leadership is beyond true, and I celebrate it!

What Life Coaching Is and What It Shouldn't Be

This has been on my mind alot lately.

I have a reputation for not suffering foolishness gladly, if at all. I am beyond nauseated at the proliferation of self-help seminars, webinars, workshops, etc. that promise to use some secret that allows us to attract good luck just by wishing for it (and you know what I'm talking about). Yes, I believe that our own positive, loving energy and that of others can manifest change in our lives. I believe that good works are their own reward. And I believe that there's a sucker born every minute and some charlatan ready to take her money.

A good life coaching relationship benefits both the coach and the coached, through the sharing of experience and mutual respect. A life coach is supposed to lead you to insight - not tell you what to do. Nor is a coach ever to tell you that what you're doing is all wrong.

We Life Coaches are, at best, intuitives with a love of and interest in our fellow human beings, taking fulfillment from guiding fellow travelers through our hard-won wisdom. At worst, we are profiteers who offer the promise of joy, wealth, perfect love, etc. with little regard for the fallout after the first flush of success fades. As I said above, life coaching is a relationship; not an evening or a weekend spent in the glow of a charismatic leader with promises to sell. That workshop may be really fun, but don't expect it to change your life.

So ends my rant. Goddess grant me patience, wisdom and clarity to see the kernels of truth through the smoke and mirrors; and to graciously keep my mouth shut when someone mentions the law of attraction...

Peace.

Too Much Stuff

I had an epiphany last night.  I discovered that I was hemmed in by too much stuff.  It's not even nice stuff.  It's just stuff I've collected over the years.  So, I had this epiphany last night that I had to get rid of all this stuff because it was holding me back from thinking and doing other real stuff, because I worry about cleaning, storing, taking care of - all this stuff.

I've mentioned Bobby, who inherited me from Mr. Burns.  He and I had had a conversation about all the stuff in my garage.  He makes money from salvage, as well as from yard and handyman work, and he saw value in my stuff.

So, after I'd had my epiphany last night, who shows up at my door this morning?  Bobby!!!  Perfect timing!  He cleaned out everything from my garage except my garden tools, washer and dryer, and cat carriers.  It looks absolutely amazing.  I might even put my car in it.

Lesson learned?  I had a real, live cosmic connection with the universe about how my stuff was holding me back, and the universe had my back.  I got rid of stuff that was useless to me, but valuable to Bobby.  Win. Win.

I've started on all the stuff I have in the house, but that's for another post...

Peace.

A Shadow Moment

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm chatty.  I like people, I'm curious about them, and I love to visit, as we say in the South.  I am very blessed in that I make friends easily.  I'm a really good listener.  And, if you want to talk about Oak Cliff, you better pack a lunch because we may be there all day.  I am an Oak Cliff Cheerleader and can talk Oak Cliff (especially restaurant!) gossip all day.

Today at work, probably every third person who came in, I knew.  Some were current friends, some were very new.  It was really fun for me.  I "visited" so much that I came home exhausted.

All sweetness and light, right?  All love and butterflies and ice cream. A perfect day.

So why, when 2 uniformed fire inspection officers entered the shop to inspect our fire extinguishers, did I lose my cool?  Not just lose my cool, but become rude and somewhat confrontational.  Irrational.  Verging on batshit crazy.

After I had embarrassed myself acting like a crazy woman, I needed to deal with it and figure out why I had been so rude to men who were just doing a benign job.  It wasn't too difficult to figure out.  I have had, all my life, a Problem With Authority.  Just regular hippie stuff - The Man Is Bad.

But, the real thing is that I have had a Big, Bad problem with the police.  Just about as bad as bad can get.  Really. Bad.  And, seeing men in Uniform, with my attitude about Authority and Police; well, the outcome wasn't pretty.

That's how "shadow," as Jung called it, can bite you.  Being mean to two perfectly innocent guys just because their appearance activated Fear in my psyche.  It was hidden, until it came out unexpectedly, viscerally, and completely inappropriately.  Shadow mustn't - absolutely MUSTN'T - be pushed back and overridden.  Shadow must be embraced and allowed to see the light - else it comes out in, let's say it together, "unexpected, visceral, and completely inappropriate ways."     You can hurt people's feelings that way, and embarrass yourself.

I need to find a way to make friends with The Uniform.  I'm not sure how I can do that, and it frightens me, but I have to find a way.  Else, my fear/anger will attract bad and negative energy.  That's the way this thing works, I believe.  And it's all in my head.  If you have any ideas for me in how to deal with this, I'd be much obliged.

Peace.

I Hurt You, You Hurt Me

Every day, we interact with friends and strangers.  Over time, friends may become strangers, and strangers friends.

What creates connections between people?  Compatible interests can connect individuals and, through grace and luck, make them friends. Or, cosmic energies can connect us - perhaps we feel instantaneously connected ; did we meet them in a past life?

In these created connections, we have expectations.  In fast friendships, we can feel that the other will know unconsciously how we feel, and will act toward us accordingly.  This can especially be prevalent in perceived "cosmic" connections: we come together in a "big bang," sharing intimate friendship without having any past.

So, feeling that we know each other intimately, feeling "in love" with the new friend, we begin sharing.  And, we expect to be understood and loved unconditionally.

So, what happens when the reality of human interaction interjects?  Love is not so easy. If we are confident in ourselves, and savvy of human intercourse, we choose, or not, to  navigate the new pathway.

But the truth of any human interaction is this: there will be pain.  We can choose to accept pain as part of  our humanity, and embrace it as such.  Or, we can choose not to give it its due, and deride it as not worthy of our "enlightened" state.  Embrace it and release it - acknowledge its power and honor it for its true power of enlightenment.  Or, deride and ignore, and continue to feel its sting.

Pain is inherent in humanity.  So is joy.  They are the opposite sides of the same coin - the coin of our life.  Both must be embraced; we, the human family, are one and the sharing makes the oneness easier to see. Blessed be.

Mr. Burns and Bobby

No, I'm not talking about Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.  If you've known me since I've bought my house, you will be familiar with Mr. Burns.  Until he retired recently, he took care of my yard, and of me.  I affectionately referred to him as "my fairy godfather."

He has taken care of my yard since before it was my yard.  Happily, I inherited him from the previous owner.  He is a WWII vet, a strong Christian and a Republican.  And he has cared for me, entertained me, and taught me for the 6 years I've been here.  We've never talked politics nor religion, on which we would never agree, but that has never, ever mattered.  We are both human beings, and believe in friendliness and neighborliness.

My very favorite Mr. Burns story is this:  He used to go to a local Tom Thumb on Saturdays and had a friend who would fix him up with all the "day-old" bakery goods.  He, in turn, took them to his friends (one of whom I was so lucky to be), then to a senior center.  One Saturday, on which I had promised to bake a cake, hadn't gotten to, and was in DEEP TROUBLE, he showed up at my back door in the nick of time.  Do you know what he said when I opened the door?  He said," Do you want chocolate or carrot cake?"  Like he'd known that I was cake-less and in need of one ASAP.  That's why I call him my fairy godfather.

He always showed up when he thought my yard looked overgrown.  He knew I'd pay him when I could (and I did).  Now, after 2 knee surgeries, he's retired.  And so, now there's Bobby.

Bobby is Mr. Burn's 2-doors-down neighbor.  He's a younger man, and it's obvious he's inherited me.  He fixed my water leak when it sprung in my garage.  He cleaned my chimney - finding the dessicated dead squirrel, tennis ball, prayer book, and pencil.  He has, as of today, mowed and cleaned up my lawn twice without payment.

I saw him this morning and said, "Bobby, thanks so much for taking care of me.  And I will pay you when I can."  He said, "I know," and that was that.

I feel like I keep harping on this "gratitude" thing, but it's this constant in my life - that things keep happening for which I am grateful.  I am so very blessed.

If you're reading this, please comment.  I need the encouragement to continue to write and share.  And, if you need a good yard/handy man, let me know.  Bobby can travel.

Blessings.

Happy Birthday, Joe Campbell

Happy Birthday, Joe! You have inspired me through the years to truly follow my bliss, and to really work out what that means for me. The actual quote has to do with following your bliss, but don't expect to make a lot of money! I've followed my bliss for many years now, with success and failure. I've only ever wanted to have an interesting life - so far, so good!

If I'm lucky, the bank will allow me to keep my house. I have a "quality of life" job - $8/hour with evenings and Sundays and Mondays off, and no stress that means anything. I have beloved pets, a comfortable bed, windows that I open on nice days, a front porch that I don't use as often as I should, a gas stove, big back and front yards with trees, a fireplace - I am counting my blessings.

And, oh, my friends. I have so many, many beloved friends. There are those from college. There is my best friend from high school. There are my friends from various jobs and lives- ranging from Dallas to Singapore and all points in between. There are my new friends whom I've met in my spiritual seeking. I am so very blessed!

Back to Joe Campbell, he said that you will be able to look back on your life and it will read like a movie script; that everything will have led to everything else, and it couldn't have been any different, or worked out as perfectly. Through what we think of as good, and what we think of as difficult or bad, it's all the same. It is indeed, "all good."

Again, happy birthday, Joe!

Love and Fate

Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment—not discouragement—you will find the strength there. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege!! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow. Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures, followed by wreckage, were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes.

~ Joseph Campbell Quotes from A Joseph Campbell Companion