Little House on the Prairie

So, when is an opportunity a real opportunity?  Seems I have the opportunity to rent a real house, with a yard, for a steal of a rent deal.  Problem is, it's in the middle of nowhere.  East Jesus, as we say.  Do I do it?  Chance to have a house again with no adjoining walls, and a yard for birds and a garden.  And barely a prayer of a job.

Or, a job an hour's drive away, that is if I don't want to work at Walmart.  I don't shop at Walmart, much less want to work there.

Much easier to get a job in the city of Dallas, but can I afford to live there?  It's occurred to me that my life was always set between Oak Lawn/Highland Park and Oak Cliff.  I'm not sure I can even afford to live in Oak Cliff anymore!  And it's changed so much - my home, which is now a house that's been prepared to "flip," isn't even a house I'd want to live in anymore.

This was Spring at my house last year:

This was my house that I lost last summer to foreclosure.  All of this greenery and flowers are gone. It was bought by a Mexican broker who evidently didn't value trees and shrubs.  It's good, in a way, because it no longer looks anything at all like My House.  Hurts less to look at it than if it looked like it used to.

If I move back to Dallas, it will most likely be in a crappy apartment.  If I move into East Jesus, I'll have a yard again.  Lots to think about and explore online.  And pray.  Pray for at least a pleasant job that will allow me to live quietly and peacefully.  I no longer expect to have work that I love - just work that is pleasant enough and will keep me able to live independently.

What in the world has happened to us?

Deja Vu All Over Again

So, here I am again.  Humbly going over my past mistakes and regrets, and looking forward to putting them back where they belong - in the past.

At the age of 50 and a half, I'm starting over again. The last time I did this for real was after my divorce in 1991.  I was 31 years old.  I lost my home and husband, lived with family, and looked for work so that I could get back on my feet.  I did it then, and I'll do it again.  This time, the heartache focuses not on a relationship lost, but a sense of lost "normalcy."  I am back living with family and am researching a new career: one utilizing my writing skills.

Things that seemed important to me when I was 31 don't seem as much so now.  It was all about making money and having fun.  What money I made I spent, and I had a great deal of fun.  Now, at 50, I'm thinking less about making money and more about lowering my cost of living.  I used to live for drinking and partying, but now I really prefer to be in bed by 10.  I was a consummate urban girl and loved living in the heart of Dallas; now I'm seriously considering not just staying put in small town Denton, Texas, but perhaps moving further out.

When I was at the (unknown to me at the time) end of my former life, I kept praying for change.  "Please change my life - in a big way!"  Well, careful what you ask for.  'Nuff said.

To be continued...