I Hurt You, You Hurt Me

Every day, we interact with friends and strangers.  Over time, friends may become strangers, and strangers friends.

What creates connections between people?  Compatible interests can connect individuals and, through grace and luck, make them friends. Or, cosmic energies can connect us - perhaps we feel instantaneously connected ; did we meet them in a past life?

In these created connections, we have expectations.  In fast friendships, we can feel that the other will know unconsciously how we feel, and will act toward us accordingly.  This can especially be prevalent in perceived "cosmic" connections: we come together in a "big bang," sharing intimate friendship without having any past.

So, feeling that we know each other intimately, feeling "in love" with the new friend, we begin sharing.  And, we expect to be understood and loved unconditionally.

So, what happens when the reality of human interaction interjects?  Love is not so easy. If we are confident in ourselves, and savvy of human intercourse, we choose, or not, to  navigate the new pathway.

But the truth of any human interaction is this: there will be pain.  We can choose to accept pain as part of  our humanity, and embrace it as such.  Or, we can choose not to give it its due, and deride it as not worthy of our "enlightened" state.  Embrace it and release it - acknowledge its power and honor it for its true power of enlightenment.  Or, deride and ignore, and continue to feel its sting.

Pain is inherent in humanity.  So is joy.  They are the opposite sides of the same coin - the coin of our life.  Both must be embraced; we, the human family, are one and the sharing makes the oneness easier to see. Blessed be.

Mr. Burns and Bobby

No, I'm not talking about Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.  If you've known me since I've bought my house, you will be familiar with Mr. Burns.  Until he retired recently, he took care of my yard, and of me.  I affectionately referred to him as "my fairy godfather."

He has taken care of my yard since before it was my yard.  Happily, I inherited him from the previous owner.  He is a WWII vet, a strong Christian and a Republican.  And he has cared for me, entertained me, and taught me for the 6 years I've been here.  We've never talked politics nor religion, on which we would never agree, but that has never, ever mattered.  We are both human beings, and believe in friendliness and neighborliness.

My very favorite Mr. Burns story is this:  He used to go to a local Tom Thumb on Saturdays and had a friend who would fix him up with all the "day-old" bakery goods.  He, in turn, took them to his friends (one of whom I was so lucky to be), then to a senior center.  One Saturday, on which I had promised to bake a cake, hadn't gotten to, and was in DEEP TROUBLE, he showed up at my back door in the nick of time.  Do you know what he said when I opened the door?  He said," Do you want chocolate or carrot cake?"  Like he'd known that I was cake-less and in need of one ASAP.  That's why I call him my fairy godfather.

He always showed up when he thought my yard looked overgrown.  He knew I'd pay him when I could (and I did).  Now, after 2 knee surgeries, he's retired.  And so, now there's Bobby.

Bobby is Mr. Burn's 2-doors-down neighbor.  He's a younger man, and it's obvious he's inherited me.  He fixed my water leak when it sprung in my garage.  He cleaned my chimney - finding the dessicated dead squirrel, tennis ball, prayer book, and pencil.  He has, as of today, mowed and cleaned up my lawn twice without payment.

I saw him this morning and said, "Bobby, thanks so much for taking care of me.  And I will pay you when I can."  He said, "I know," and that was that.

I feel like I keep harping on this "gratitude" thing, but it's this constant in my life - that things keep happening for which I am grateful.  I am so very blessed.

If you're reading this, please comment.  I need the encouragement to continue to write and share.  And, if you need a good yard/handy man, let me know.  Bobby can travel.

Blessings.

Happy Birthday, Joe Campbell

Happy Birthday, Joe! You have inspired me through the years to truly follow my bliss, and to really work out what that means for me. The actual quote has to do with following your bliss, but don't expect to make a lot of money! I've followed my bliss for many years now, with success and failure. I've only ever wanted to have an interesting life - so far, so good!

If I'm lucky, the bank will allow me to keep my house. I have a "quality of life" job - $8/hour with evenings and Sundays and Mondays off, and no stress that means anything. I have beloved pets, a comfortable bed, windows that I open on nice days, a front porch that I don't use as often as I should, a gas stove, big back and front yards with trees, a fireplace - I am counting my blessings.

And, oh, my friends. I have so many, many beloved friends. There are those from college. There is my best friend from high school. There are my friends from various jobs and lives- ranging from Dallas to Singapore and all points in between. There are my new friends whom I've met in my spiritual seeking. I am so very blessed!

Back to Joe Campbell, he said that you will be able to look back on your life and it will read like a movie script; that everything will have led to everything else, and it couldn't have been any different, or worked out as perfectly. Through what we think of as good, and what we think of as difficult or bad, it's all the same. It is indeed, "all good."

Again, happy birthday, Joe!

Love and Fate

Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment—not discouragement—you will find the strength there. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege!! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow. Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures, followed by wreckage, were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes.

~ Joseph Campbell Quotes from A Joseph Campbell Companion

Oh for heaven's sake

Okay, so I had this "great idea." Many times, I wish I had a gigantic rubber stamp that says "OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!" that I would use when confronted with something I think is beyond ridiculous. So I try to start a new blog on blogspot using the name "ohforheavenssake." Come to find out, someone who DOESN'T USE IT owns it and there's no contact information with which I might email them and ask them for it, pretty please.

So, that becomes my first OFHS post on the How to Be Exceptional blog. Here's another one for the holidays:

Spiders

I have a spider bite on the big toe of my left foot. I often get insect bites, as I live in a natural setting and sleep with the window over my bed cracked.

It's been through several fazes now. The current one is clean, a bit red/purple, and mysterious. I have joked to my friends that I'm waiting for baby spiders to be born from my big toe.

I had a conversation with a co-worker today; she and I have the same opinion about Western medicine. We look at it askance, and think it's much ado about nothing. It exists to serve the insurance and pharmaceutical companies, and is barbaric. I know several people who, if they have a twinge or an itch or a shadow of a rash, rush to the doctor. Those of us who have little or no insurance don't do that, because we can't afford it.

My co-worker agreed with me that, in our circumstances, we would never go to the doctor for a spider bite (brown recluse notwithstanding). She said that once she made peace with the fact that she was going to die someday, she no longer had a need for Western medicine. We're all going to die someday, and the doctor can't stop it. It made me think about the people I know who are doctor-addicted. They, mostly, need to be in control. You can't control death. Western medicine is a panacea for the fear of death. And it's too expensive - we die anyway.

I'm not going to die from my spider bite. My body is bent on life, and will take care of its own self. My thought is that, if we had a more natural look on life and death, we would relax and stop feeding the fear. I believe in karma and reincarnation, so it's not that difficult for me. I may have been a spider in a past life, and may be one again. Blessed be.

The Urban Life

I had a great day today - work this morning; Hindi movie on the big screen this afternoon ("Delhi 6" - AWESOME); and home to the grocery store in Oak Cliff where people were literally observing Ash Wednesday. Was reminded, also, that I'll have to alter my route into my 'hood (now that the weather is warm) as to not run over the boys playing their regular basketball game across the street from my house. Jai and Viva Dallas!