Too Much Stuff

I had an epiphany last night.  I discovered that I was hemmed in by too much stuff.  It's not even nice stuff.  It's just stuff I've collected over the years.  So, I had this epiphany last night that I had to get rid of all this stuff because it was holding me back from thinking and doing other real stuff, because I worry about cleaning, storing, taking care of - all this stuff.

I've mentioned Bobby, who inherited me from Mr. Burns.  He and I had had a conversation about all the stuff in my garage.  He makes money from salvage, as well as from yard and handyman work, and he saw value in my stuff.

So, after I'd had my epiphany last night, who shows up at my door this morning?  Bobby!!!  Perfect timing!  He cleaned out everything from my garage except my garden tools, washer and dryer, and cat carriers.  It looks absolutely amazing.  I might even put my car in it.

Lesson learned?  I had a real, live cosmic connection with the universe about how my stuff was holding me back, and the universe had my back.  I got rid of stuff that was useless to me, but valuable to Bobby.  Win. Win.

I've started on all the stuff I have in the house, but that's for another post...

Peace.

A Shadow Moment

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm chatty.  I like people, I'm curious about them, and I love to visit, as we say in the South.  I am very blessed in that I make friends easily.  I'm a really good listener.  And, if you want to talk about Oak Cliff, you better pack a lunch because we may be there all day.  I am an Oak Cliff Cheerleader and can talk Oak Cliff (especially restaurant!) gossip all day.

Today at work, probably every third person who came in, I knew.  Some were current friends, some were very new.  It was really fun for me.  I "visited" so much that I came home exhausted.

All sweetness and light, right?  All love and butterflies and ice cream. A perfect day.

So why, when 2 uniformed fire inspection officers entered the shop to inspect our fire extinguishers, did I lose my cool?  Not just lose my cool, but become rude and somewhat confrontational.  Irrational.  Verging on batshit crazy.

After I had embarrassed myself acting like a crazy woman, I needed to deal with it and figure out why I had been so rude to men who were just doing a benign job.  It wasn't too difficult to figure out.  I have had, all my life, a Problem With Authority.  Just regular hippie stuff - The Man Is Bad.

But, the real thing is that I have had a Big, Bad problem with the police.  Just about as bad as bad can get.  Really. Bad.  And, seeing men in Uniform, with my attitude about Authority and Police; well, the outcome wasn't pretty.

That's how "shadow," as Jung called it, can bite you.  Being mean to two perfectly innocent guys just because their appearance activated Fear in my psyche.  It was hidden, until it came out unexpectedly, viscerally, and completely inappropriately.  Shadow mustn't - absolutely MUSTN'T - be pushed back and overridden.  Shadow must be embraced and allowed to see the light - else it comes out in, let's say it together, "unexpected, visceral, and completely inappropriate ways."     You can hurt people's feelings that way, and embarrass yourself.

I need to find a way to make friends with The Uniform.  I'm not sure how I can do that, and it frightens me, but I have to find a way.  Else, my fear/anger will attract bad and negative energy.  That's the way this thing works, I believe.  And it's all in my head.  If you have any ideas for me in how to deal with this, I'd be much obliged.

Peace.

I Hurt You, You Hurt Me

Every day, we interact with friends and strangers.  Over time, friends may become strangers, and strangers friends.

What creates connections between people?  Compatible interests can connect individuals and, through grace and luck, make them friends. Or, cosmic energies can connect us - perhaps we feel instantaneously connected ; did we meet them in a past life?

In these created connections, we have expectations.  In fast friendships, we can feel that the other will know unconsciously how we feel, and will act toward us accordingly.  This can especially be prevalent in perceived "cosmic" connections: we come together in a "big bang," sharing intimate friendship without having any past.

So, feeling that we know each other intimately, feeling "in love" with the new friend, we begin sharing.  And, we expect to be understood and loved unconditionally.

So, what happens when the reality of human interaction interjects?  Love is not so easy. If we are confident in ourselves, and savvy of human intercourse, we choose, or not, to  navigate the new pathway.

But the truth of any human interaction is this: there will be pain.  We can choose to accept pain as part of  our humanity, and embrace it as such.  Or, we can choose not to give it its due, and deride it as not worthy of our "enlightened" state.  Embrace it and release it - acknowledge its power and honor it for its true power of enlightenment.  Or, deride and ignore, and continue to feel its sting.

Pain is inherent in humanity.  So is joy.  They are the opposite sides of the same coin - the coin of our life.  Both must be embraced; we, the human family, are one and the sharing makes the oneness easier to see. Blessed be.

Mr. Burns and Bobby

No, I'm not talking about Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.  If you've known me since I've bought my house, you will be familiar with Mr. Burns.  Until he retired recently, he took care of my yard, and of me.  I affectionately referred to him as "my fairy godfather."

He has taken care of my yard since before it was my yard.  Happily, I inherited him from the previous owner.  He is a WWII vet, a strong Christian and a Republican.  And he has cared for me, entertained me, and taught me for the 6 years I've been here.  We've never talked politics nor religion, on which we would never agree, but that has never, ever mattered.  We are both human beings, and believe in friendliness and neighborliness.

My very favorite Mr. Burns story is this:  He used to go to a local Tom Thumb on Saturdays and had a friend who would fix him up with all the "day-old" bakery goods.  He, in turn, took them to his friends (one of whom I was so lucky to be), then to a senior center.  One Saturday, on which I had promised to bake a cake, hadn't gotten to, and was in DEEP TROUBLE, he showed up at my back door in the nick of time.  Do you know what he said when I opened the door?  He said," Do you want chocolate or carrot cake?"  Like he'd known that I was cake-less and in need of one ASAP.  That's why I call him my fairy godfather.

He always showed up when he thought my yard looked overgrown.  He knew I'd pay him when I could (and I did).  Now, after 2 knee surgeries, he's retired.  And so, now there's Bobby.

Bobby is Mr. Burn's 2-doors-down neighbor.  He's a younger man, and it's obvious he's inherited me.  He fixed my water leak when it sprung in my garage.  He cleaned my chimney - finding the dessicated dead squirrel, tennis ball, prayer book, and pencil.  He has, as of today, mowed and cleaned up my lawn twice without payment.

I saw him this morning and said, "Bobby, thanks so much for taking care of me.  And I will pay you when I can."  He said, "I know," and that was that.

I feel like I keep harping on this "gratitude" thing, but it's this constant in my life - that things keep happening for which I am grateful.  I am so very blessed.

If you're reading this, please comment.  I need the encouragement to continue to write and share.  And, if you need a good yard/handy man, let me know.  Bobby can travel.

Blessings.

Happy Birthday, Joe Campbell

Happy Birthday, Joe! You have inspired me through the years to truly follow my bliss, and to really work out what that means for me. The actual quote has to do with following your bliss, but don't expect to make a lot of money! I've followed my bliss for many years now, with success and failure. I've only ever wanted to have an interesting life - so far, so good!

If I'm lucky, the bank will allow me to keep my house. I have a "quality of life" job - $8/hour with evenings and Sundays and Mondays off, and no stress that means anything. I have beloved pets, a comfortable bed, windows that I open on nice days, a front porch that I don't use as often as I should, a gas stove, big back and front yards with trees, a fireplace - I am counting my blessings.

And, oh, my friends. I have so many, many beloved friends. There are those from college. There is my best friend from high school. There are my friends from various jobs and lives- ranging from Dallas to Singapore and all points in between. There are my new friends whom I've met in my spiritual seeking. I am so very blessed!

Back to Joe Campbell, he said that you will be able to look back on your life and it will read like a movie script; that everything will have led to everything else, and it couldn't have been any different, or worked out as perfectly. Through what we think of as good, and what we think of as difficult or bad, it's all the same. It is indeed, "all good."

Again, happy birthday, Joe!

Love and Fate

Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment—not discouragement—you will find the strength there. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege!! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow. Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures, followed by wreckage, were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes.

~ Joseph Campbell Quotes from A Joseph Campbell Companion

Oh for heaven's sake

Okay, so I had this "great idea." Many times, I wish I had a gigantic rubber stamp that says "OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!" that I would use when confronted with something I think is beyond ridiculous. So I try to start a new blog on blogspot using the name "ohforheavenssake." Come to find out, someone who DOESN'T USE IT owns it and there's no contact information with which I might email them and ask them for it, pretty please.

So, that becomes my first OFHS post on the How to Be Exceptional blog. Here's another one for the holidays: